For many professionals this answer is easy. It is important because mothers need to heal after giving birth. When they are talking about healing, they are talking about recovery in many different ways. Some examples are that a mother needs to heal because of all the stitches that she needed after giving birth. For some mothers it means that she needs to heal mentally after a very quick or traumatic birth. But there is a problem. The problem is, there is barely any time to heal. Why? Because there is a newborn and newborns are demanding. I can understand that it is nearly impossible to prepare for this journey after birth but many pregnant women aren't even thinking about the period after birth and I think they should.
In this blog I will give you an indication of a day in the life of a mother and a newborn. This could be any day of the week in the first four weeks of the newborn when your newborn still needs to feed every three hours of a twenty-four hour period.
This is just an example, this schedule is not the same for every family because everyone's situation is different which means everyone can have a different schedule.
5 days after birth, let's start at a decent time.
6.30am first feed
7.00am finish feed, let baby rest to digest + skin on skin time
7.30am change nappy
7.45am put baby back to bed
8.00am go to toilet, have breakfast, have a shower (hopefully baby sleeps during this time)
8.30am second feed + skin on skin time
9.40 am change nappy
9.50am baby back to bed, mother needs to rest from broken night + breastfeeding
11.30am third feed
12.30pm finish feed, let baby rest (skin on skin)
12.45pm midwife comes for a check up (change nappy while midwife is there)
1.30pm have lunch
1.40pm fourth feed
2.15pm finish feed, let baby rest
2.30pm change nappy 2.45pm put baby back to bed
3.00pm try to have a rest yourself after done washing and some cleaning
5.00pm fifth feed
5.30pm let baby rest while you prep dinner
6.00pm change baby's nappy set table
6.15pm have dinner while it's warm
7.00pm sixth feed
7.30pm let baby rest
8.30pm put baby in night bed
9.00pm baby wants another feed seventh feed
10.00pm put baby back to bed hoping he had enough milk to last a while
1am baby wakes up, another feed
2am baby doesn't want to sleep, change nappy and walk around
3am let's try another feed (ninth)
4am baby falls asleep
6am tenth feed in 24 hours, change nappy
6.30am let baby rest after feed
7.00am but baby in a bath and put back to bed after
8.00am baby goes for a good sleep, you hope...
Time to heal for mother in the schedule?
This is just an example of a schedule in the first weeks, depending on the weight of the baby (the more weight s/he needs to gain, the more feeds s/he needs). Now where in this schedule do you see 'time for mother to heal'? Where in this schedule do you see 'mother rests to heal after birth' or even 'mother rests every 3 hours to make sure her stitches heal properly'. This is physical healing. What about mother 'changes bed after night sweats, cleans out bin that's full of nappies, brushes teeth, blow dries hair, spends time with relatives, calls her mum, has some alone time". That time for mother is so hard to find because it isn't there. Not in the first weeks.
How do you heal when there is no time?
This is why I think postpartum care is important. The postpartum time is the time to heal, to recover, to rest, to bond with the baby and to embrace the new lifestyle and postpartum care is there to help you with that. You need your village. You need someone to support you emotionally, to be there for you, to make sure you don't feel isolated but supported. Someone who is there to take care of you while you take care of your baby. Some mothers feel like they have to do it all alone because society or social media makes them think that all mother go through it alone. This is not true. Most mothers who do it all by themselves or with little help struggle. The problem is not many mothers voice their struggle.
Becoming a mother is a tough job
Look at the example again and be honest that there is no time for the mothers to rest and heal. Women have never had this before that they were so isolated like they are now. Women always had their village. Their parents, their parents in law, the neighbours, their friends. Most of their female friends didn't work so they all had more time. Most of their mothers didn't work or lived close by. We are in a different time now and we have to adjust. We have to change to stand up for mothers who are isolated, lonely and think they have to do it all by themselves.
Contact Queensland Cradle Care now to talk about how we can help you because you are important to us.
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