The last lockdown that we have experienced in Greater Brisbane did affect a lot of people. For some it was a birthday party not going ahead, for others it was a weekend or holiday away that had changed and for some women who were due to give birth last weekend everything suddenly changed. It is very unfortunate if this was you. Last minute changes just before you give birth are incredibly unwelcome.
Did you prepare for giving birth?
Women choose to prepare for birth by first reading a lot about it, go to classes, maybe watch some documentaries or episodes of giving birth and/or ask friends or family how their giving birth went. Some women even make a birth planner to make sure everyone is aware of what their preferences are. What I wonder is how many percentage of women have birthed according to their plan? Don't get me wrong, I think it is fantastic and sometimes highly necessary to plan how you want your birth to go. My question to you is when you plan it, do you also leave room for unexpected occasions and are you prepared for that too?
If your birth didn't go as planned how did you cope with it?
What I have noticed over the last year is that mothers do not get enough emotional support after they have given birth. To me this is such an important moment, especially when birth doesn't go as planned. You need to be able to share your birth story several times to process for yourself what has happened and how you feel about it. Family and friends play a big role in emotional support and I have noticed that mothers do not get time and/or space to do that either in the hospital or from their loved ones. When there is no one there to listen to your birth story (preferably even more than once) then it will be harder to process your experience.
Do you make time for yourself after birth?
As soon as you have given birth, your focus is mainly on your newborn. Feeding, sleeping, hugging, figuring out their cries, burping, changing, getting to know your newborn, sleeping yourself and a lot more. These first weeks are very tricky for yourself and your partner. You barely get time for yourself but giving yourself time is very important. Between all you want and have to do for your newborn, you also have to process the birth and getting to know what being a mother is like. When you have no one helping out besides your partner, it could be a tough ride, even tougher when you are alone. You were meant to do this with a village but the harsh reality of lockdowns, families interstate and overseas for many there is no village anymore.
What are the things you can do to support yourself?
When you feel that you are not supported enough emotionally, you could write down your story. Even keep a diary just for yourself of how you feel they days after you have given birth. This is not only a good way to share your thoughts and emotions but also to read back a year later to still process what has happened. Your birth story doesn't just stop after you have given birth. The weeks after birth are still part of the story because you are still recovering emotionally and physically. Don't underestimate this period. The fact that not many women talk openly about this period, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. When you go online to find mothers who go through the same, you will quickly find out that you are not alone. If you would like to share your story with us, feel free to do so we are open to listen to your experience.
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