As a dad or partner the birth of your child is a very different experience compared to the birthing mother. Which means your preparation for the birth is very different as well. After talking to a couple of the dads whom I visited when I was working in their home, it seem to be different for all of them because their perspective was different. What they all had in common though was the question 'how can I best take care of my partner after she has given birth'?
Of course calling Queensland Cradle Care was the best option they had and so they did. But what was it that they were looking for?
"After we came home from hospital it was not what we expected, it was our first born and we didn't get a manual with him, we had no idea what we were doing and I wanted to support my wife but I didn't know how because I didn't prepare for that" This is why this dad contacted Cradle Care and why people kept telling him he needed to build a village but he had no idea why.
Another dad said "we came home from hospital after an emergency cesarean. We did not plan for this because we had planned to have a natural birth. I had to go back to work and my wife had to stay in bed while we had a toddler walking around".
What we have advised both dads is that they indeed should make sure that mum gets as much rest as possible, that if they didn't have any friends or family around that could help, they should contact someone who can help out. There is no need for a manual for a baby because you have natural instinct and your instinct will tell you what to do. The thing is, you should be calm, rested and supported enough that you are able to listen to your instinct. In the end everything will work out. You will get to learn your newborn and you will get used to the lack of sleep when you have to. What should be on your priority list is that you are making sure that mum gets enough rest. Her body needs to recover. You need to make sure she drinks enough, she eats enough healthy food and that she is able to get some 'me' time even if it's just a 20 minute shower. Make sure she feels supported . Make sure that you are giving her the feeling you are a team. You are in this together, not just her. You shouldn't be judgmental and keep judgmental people away form her. Especially when she is breastfeeding, she will need a lot of support because it is costing her a lot of energy. If you want to make your start easier, call Queensland Cradle Care.
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